Priority Use

I love being alone. Perhaps it's the grown up only child in me, or perhaps it's that I can't or don't relate to other people, but I crave alone time. I am beyond the guilty feelings of having to go out, having to socialize, having to be nice. If I want to be alone, I'm going to do it. But, sometimes I do worry about myself. I worry that I make stupid, unsafe decisions. I worry that I walk down streets that I shouldn't, I go out at times when I shouldn't. And, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm asking for trouble. My friends are out galavanting across Prague--museums, bars, jazz clubs--and I'm sitting in my hostel writinng in my blog--something that has been long overdue. I really, honestly, just wanted to be alone. I didn't feel bad that I didn't go out or bad that I was wasting my time here, I just knew what I needed and decided to take it. I got off on the wrong tram stop and had to walk down a pretty sketchy strip of road with lots of grafitti and I was just praying that the light would last a little longer and that someone would hear my scream if I had to. At one point I started running, but then I felt ridiculous and I just walked really fast. It's those stupid things that I do that make me wonder if I am as wise and smart as I like to consider myself as being. I'll be alone in Rome for a week and I hope that I am okay. I know the "right" things, the "smart" things, the "safe" things to do, I just don't always do them. I am most excited, though, about going to sleep early, exactly when I want to. And, waking up early, exactly when I want to. Then, I don't have to worry, right? I'm sure I'm just paranoid. People my age do stupid things, why do I always have to be so practical? Why do I have to care!