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I saw the most depressingly motivating film today with my dad. I recommend it to everyone, but be prepared, emotionally, to see this. On the surface, it was about racism. But, beneath the layers, it was about how we all connect, good and bad, black and white. Anyway, after the movie ended, I was an emotional mess. I was in tears and didn't know what to do. Meanwhile, my dad is Mr. Perfect--always glass is half full, self-help guru. He kept trying to get me to see the other side of the picture--life has good and bad--well, I was completely frustrated. Sure, life has good and bad. But, I feel like I live in a perfect town shielded from all that is bad in the world. I feel like people walk around self-absorbed in their perfect worlds trying to forget about all the bad that permeates every moment of the day. Of course, I am not saying we should all be depressed and sad and lonely. I think we should be happy, of course. But, I also think that people like me should recognize their privilege. The privilege of security. I don't know what I really mean. Recognize that we live in a community and that we all have some sort of "duty" to everyone else. Maybe one duty is just to stop and recognize the ingrained stereotypes that we might have. The way we look at people and perceive exactly how they are just by the job they work, the color of skin they wear, or the car that they drive. Of course, I am just as guilty of these good vs bad thoughts. This black vs white. I think that we should all just think about our actions, not just do. Think.

So, to get out my main point. Now, I am motivated. Well, I am usually motivated to do something good. But, now I am even more motivated. I don't know what, though, and this is the problem. I don't know what or how to do something good, but I know that I need to do something.

Okay, this is complicated. And, I know I didn't make any sense at all. I am trying to write and be serious. But, there is a crazy conversation of 3 drunk people next to me and I don't know how to get their voices out of my head. And, they're sort of making me mad. You know? Why can't they be serious? I feel so serious and why can't they just be serious? I guess I'll have to sort all of this out. I'll come back to this later.