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Saturday, August 06, 2005

 

God, Faith and Sex

When my dad and I were passing through Olympia we went for a walk along the seashore and stopped at a grocery store to have lunch at the deli. When we sat down to eat, we both smiled at a little old lady sitting at the table next to us. I noticed that she was unusually friendly--actually vocalizing a hello together with her smile. The three of us enjoyed our lunches separately, and then my dad and I left to go buy some stuff in the bulk section for the rest of the drive. So, as we were walking out of the store, through the parking lot, I noticed that the old lady from the deli was walking in the same direction as us. I told my dad and so we stopped to talk with her. She was going in the same direction as we were, so my dad offered that we walk with her. Turns out she was 91 years old and amazing. She was all positivity and energy and it was amazing. It was just amazing to think about the wisdom that she must have, the experiences that she has amounted. I mean 91 years?? Can you even fathom that? So much has happened in our country since 1914! Anyway, that's not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is what I realized by talking with her (really, by listening to her, I didn't do much talking). She was impressively devoted to God and Jesus. She kept telling us that the reason she is alive every day is because Jesus died for her sins and that each day she thanks God for letting her live one more day but that she will be ready to leave when he decides this is so. I was so impressed by her faith. I think what people are missing in their lives, really, is faith. Now, don't get me wrong, I am the last person to be telling anyone that religion is the way to go. But, for me, faith is very different than religion. Faith is having something to believe in. Knowing that there is something very powerful out there. I don't know where I stand on all of this, the details, you know, but I do know that I want to be sure and live my life as though I mean it and to always believe in something, whatever it is. For me, it seems the most powerful to believe in myself. I don't know how ridiculous that sounds, but it works for me, so that's all that matters, right? I truly believe that I am the most powerful person in my life and that as long as I have faith in me, I will be okay. So, then, after being totally impressed (and also, admittedly, a little intimidated by her notions of Jesus), she turned to me and asked me if I had heard about this author named Kay Arthur (I think). I thought she said "King Arthur," so I told her yes. Then she told me that this author writes about God and sex. Hmmm...okay, nope, I guess I hadn't heard about her. I guess for some reason I have always put God and sex on two different sides of the good/bad societal structure. Not because I, personally, think sex is bad, but more because we approach it in such an odd way, in our culture, I think. Duh, everyone has sex (at some point in their live--we'll make this one kosher). But, it's almost like we're not supposed to on a really odd level. So, anyway, I was really floored to hear her start talking about this author. She was telling me how God loves sex to and that sex is beautiful and allowed under God within his boundaries. And, I guess that really encapsulates my general problem with religion: boundaries. I just think that people really need to question their beliefs--you know, why they believe what they believe and what it means to abide by someone else's boundaries. Now, I don't mean to tell anyone that what they believe in is right or wrong (I love that my friends all have different values and directions. That's the beauty of it all, right?), but I do really think that people should truly think to know. Okay, tangent. Anyway, I think it's wonderful that she believes in something so strong that she lives every moment of her day for that something. She did a little 2-step for us to show how happy she was and I couldn't help but be so happy for her, too. I want to be that happy, too, when I'm 91. And, you know what? I think I will be. I just have to believe in something. Something greater than how it looks at first glance. Something really big.

Comments:
wow. thanks.
i was just sitting here, in the reg, staring at my lsat materials. these problems which started out kind of fun are just becoming nightmares and suddenly i just feel so frustrated with everything and really really lost. so thanks for this deliberation on the need to believe in something and documenting how incredible and joyous this belief brings to our lives. we all want to end up where this old lady is, so completely full of conviction and hope, and everyday, every second, is a glorious manifestation. we just have different routes to follow right? some follow God, some money, or fame, or power, but i, like you, want to believe in myself. this path is definitely the path less-travelled, or at least narrower, darker, more thorn-ridden. there is a bible, and billions of people, to confirm that God is all-powerful and supreme, so it's much easier to keep your eyes on the eternal light, to have unfliching conviction, when you believe in something whose reputation is so proven for lack of a better word. but who else or what else, except yourself, can attest unconditionally to the power of your own being? i dont think even my parents can do that. it's so easy to lose sight of the light, to weaver in your conviction of yourself than almost anything else.
i was a little shaken in my faith of myself, and reading your blog gave me a new wind.
 
What does it even mean to believe in yourself? I mean, I know what Whitney Houston means when she says it, but what do other people mean?

Don't get me wrong, I get the idea of having confidence. But comparing our belief in ourselves to something greater than ourselves seems a little short sighted...doesn't it?

Sorry, no condemnation there. Just mean to join in the dialogue.
 
I think that believing in yourself means that you believe that you have the ultimate say in how your life turns out. To me, that's not really that short sighted, though. I guess because I recognize that there is a lot to believe in (God, Buddha, spirituality...), but to me, all of that really comes from within. I think what's really interesting, is that we can all believe in something different, though. I don't think that my belief in me and the fact that I believe that everything comes from within undermines anyone's strong belief in one God (or 100), such as those of the lady that originally brought up my thought. But, I completely recognize that this is MY belief. Just because I believe it doesn't make it true necessarily for anyone but me.

No condemnation taken.
 
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