A secret blog containing the ramblings of a secret someone...
I don't really have anything to write about, but I just have this overwhelming urge to write about something, nonetheless. I have this urge to feel close to someone, to have a connection that no one has, and for some reason this urge is manifesting itself in my desire to express my thoughts. The problem with this blog thing, though, is that I'm not sure that I really want to express
all my thoughts knowing that people I know--people that
know me--are reading them. So, really, what's the point of this? I haven't totally reconciled everything and am not sure how to go about approaching the whole "blogging" thing. I have been wanting to write for the last week, but didn't know what to write with the new understanding of what it means to be public.
I'm not the type to use something like a blog to be passive-aggressive, or to
subtly hint at anything directed towards anyone. The problem is, that I
am the type to care that other people might take it that way. So, as a result, I don't write much. It's not even so much that I want to write
about anyone, about anything, it's just that things happen, right? I feel certain ways in certain situations. I wish certain things about certain people and certain circumstances. And, I think. I think about all these things. There are very few moments in my life when I am not thinking. Even when I nap--which doesn't happen often--I find myself in a land of dreams. A five minute forage through a land of dreams. So, that being said, things happen, I think about them, and I want to write about them. Yet, I am not sure if this is the write place to do it.
I get no cell phone reception in my room. I had 4 bars for about 10 minutes while sitting at my window last night. It was like some sort of special treat. But tonight, I had to stand by the back porch and wave my phone around like a mad man begging for even just 2 bars of reception. What happens if I want to call someone while lying on my bed with the door closed and the lights off right before I go to sleep? Now that's something to write about.