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I've been really wanting a donut lately. I don't know why. It's not really an intense craving or anything. The cravings come for random reasons--like I'll see a picture or something. They're fairly short-lived, too. Mostly, I've been really wanting a lot of crap food for no reason--food that I usually don't even like all that much and that is equally disappointing when I finally get my hands on it. So the latest cravings have been grands biscuits, pillsbury cinnamon rolls, m&m's, mr. goodbars, pizza, donuts.

It almost embodies the classic ideals of liberation. Like finally being free from the shakels that are "caring" (not that I would go even half as far as to say that's how I actually feel). This summer I just ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. It worked out well for a few reasons. But most of those reasons no longer exist back on domestic soil and with the existence of other confounding issues. Yet, I have not fully discarded this sense of attainable desire. I have yet to make it unattainable, but I'm not sure if this is really that good of a thing. It's like I'm a foreigner to tasteful marvels and just desire the ability to experience them once, if only to say that I did. Like seeing the Empire State Building in New York, or something like that. Like I am here, so I may as well.

So, as for donuts. When I was dropping off the van at the police station on Saturday the police officer was really nice and he had a dozen krispy kremes sitting on the dispatcher table. He offered me one, and I obliged willingly. I think he was surprised that I said yet, but he smiled and went to get a napkin. I was mostly excited because I'd never had my very own krispy kreme. I once had a bite of someone's at a study break 2nd year, but it was far from indulgent and the taste lasted less than 15 seconds. Well, suffice it to say, this time around wasn't much better. He handed me the donut--I was extremely hungry, having way passed my usual 4 hour fasting ability. I was surprised at how light the thing was. It felt like nothing more than air. I took one bite, and then two, then three, four and maybe five. And it was gone. I couldn't believe it. How anti-climactic is that? I don't know what the big deal is. I hardly even had time to relish in the amazing experience that krispy kreme is all cracked up to be, because by the time 45 seconds had passed, the donut was gone. And, I hardly even knew where it went.