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A secret blog containing the ramblings of a secret someone...Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Personals
Why do people always ask me if I have a boyfriend? I don't think this is a "me" thing. I'm guessing it happens to everyone. But, that doesn't make it any less annoying. Random people, too. Why do people even care? Is it really any of their business?
I never know how to respond to this question. And, I never even know how to react to my response once it has already been formulated.
I usually try and make up something fluffy and convoluted--like "maybe," or "oh, not right now,"--but it usually ends up being taken as something depressive.
Oh, it's okay honey. You'll find someone. As if a boyfriend is something important that has been lost in the depths of my closet or something--it's just hiding and not ready to come out.
This question never fails to make me feel bad about something that I really don't feel bad about. Okay, well the psychiatrist in me says no one can make you feel something you don't already feel yourself. But, really. It all makes me wonder if I am somehow incomplete. How we're all supposed to be paired up somehow. How life just isn't right without sharing it with someone intimate. That really bugs me. I can be such a stubborn and grumpy person that I wouldn't be surprised if I just answered no for the rest of my life.
I never know how to respond to this question. And, I never even know how to react to my response once it has already been formulated.
I usually try and make up something fluffy and convoluted--like "maybe," or "oh, not right now,"--but it usually ends up being taken as something depressive.
Oh, it's okay honey. You'll find someone. As if a boyfriend is something important that has been lost in the depths of my closet or something--it's just hiding and not ready to come out.
This question never fails to make me feel bad about something that I really don't feel bad about. Okay, well the psychiatrist in me says no one can make you feel something you don't already feel yourself. But, really. It all makes me wonder if I am somehow incomplete. How we're all supposed to be paired up somehow. How life just isn't right without sharing it with someone intimate. That really bugs me. I can be such a stubborn and grumpy person that I wouldn't be surprised if I just answered no for the rest of my life.
posted by Lisa Lovely # 10:38 PM 
Comments:
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I don't know why people care, or how it's their business. I'd guess they're just making conversation?
As to them giving you a response of "Oh it's okay..." I suspect that more than the answer you actually give, it has to do with how you give it. Wavering might convey some impression of uncertainty, and perhaps they interpret some degree of wanting, so they will consequently respond in such a way that they think appropriate to their impression of you being disappointed.
Maybe I'm totally off though, who knows. Maybe even if you were to answer confidently and without hesitation, "no." or what have you (that may be a bit terse, I suspect), they would still feel compelled to offer their (faux?) consolation because they are so full of themselves to think that if they can't imagine a happy life without their boy/girlfriend then they can't imagine it for anybody.
As to them giving you a response of "Oh it's okay..." I suspect that more than the answer you actually give, it has to do with how you give it. Wavering might convey some impression of uncertainty, and perhaps they interpret some degree of wanting, so they will consequently respond in such a way that they think appropriate to their impression of you being disappointed.
Maybe I'm totally off though, who knows. Maybe even if you were to answer confidently and without hesitation, "no." or what have you (that may be a bit terse, I suspect), they would still feel compelled to offer their (faux?) consolation because they are so full of themselves to think that if they can't imagine a happy life without their boy/girlfriend then they can't imagine it for anybody.
Hmmm...good point. Perhaps my hesitation in being really annoyed with the question and trying to come up with the best response is in fact interpreted as a call for sympathy.
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