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A secret blog containing the ramblings of a secret someone...Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Attraction
The grass is always greener, right? It's never how you want it to be--even if it's how you've wanted it to be.
I used to want to be attractive. Which isn't to say that I don't still want that. The type of attractive that symbolizes nothing buy superficiality and, oh I don't know, conceit? Well, not in a bad way. But, just good looking. Whatever. Anyway, someone from the gym asked me out the other day. He knows nothing about me--except that I go to the gym. We talked for about 5 minutes and he asked me out. Juan knew me for about, oh I don't know, 10 minutes before he asked me out. It's only happened twice, and already it's too much. I mean, it's flattering, sure. Love at first sight? Lust at first sight? That's not what sustains a relationship. And, I think I've had enough of these little lust trists. I want to feel connected--Eek! I'm getting deep. Mushy and deep.
I'd just like to think that someone finds me the least bit attractive to think that I'm a good person (ha ha...I'm sure that's what they're thinking). But, really, now I just want to be a good person.
Okay, this isn't being all that fair or truthful. I don't want to just be (superficially) attractive. But, I want to also be charismatic and happy and I want people to be attracted to my personality in all respects, as well. I want to be a person that people generally want to be around. The problem, I'm realizing, is that once people (guys) get to know me, they don't seem to want to date me. What's with that? Am I missing something here?
I want to get to know someone. I want someone to get to know me and have that all be fine and dandy. Happy ending with a nice little bow. This doesn't mean I want to get married to the next person who contentedly falls in love with my personality. Of course not. I just want to be with someone who has developed into something more. Okay, so initial physical attraction is great. I don't mind that. But, I also need some reinforcement on the other side. I need to know that what I am doing--what I am--is good for someone more than just me. Not because I need outside motivation. But, because it's good to know that I'm someone around whom someone else wants to be.
I have a feeling that I just did a terrible job getting my point across. I think I'm going to make some people mad. Or, at least I'll be a bit misunderstood. But (I sound like a broken record), I know what I mean. Sometimes I'm just not good at writing it.
I used to want to be attractive. Which isn't to say that I don't still want that. The type of attractive that symbolizes nothing buy superficiality and, oh I don't know, conceit? Well, not in a bad way. But, just good looking. Whatever. Anyway, someone from the gym asked me out the other day. He knows nothing about me--except that I go to the gym. We talked for about 5 minutes and he asked me out. Juan knew me for about, oh I don't know, 10 minutes before he asked me out. It's only happened twice, and already it's too much. I mean, it's flattering, sure. Love at first sight? Lust at first sight? That's not what sustains a relationship. And, I think I've had enough of these little lust trists. I want to feel connected--Eek! I'm getting deep. Mushy and deep.
I'd just like to think that someone finds me the least bit attractive to think that I'm a good person (ha ha...I'm sure that's what they're thinking). But, really, now I just want to be a good person.
Okay, this isn't being all that fair or truthful. I don't want to just be (superficially) attractive. But, I want to also be charismatic and happy and I want people to be attracted to my personality in all respects, as well. I want to be a person that people generally want to be around. The problem, I'm realizing, is that once people (guys) get to know me, they don't seem to want to date me. What's with that? Am I missing something here?
I want to get to know someone. I want someone to get to know me and have that all be fine and dandy. Happy ending with a nice little bow. This doesn't mean I want to get married to the next person who contentedly falls in love with my personality. Of course not. I just want to be with someone who has developed into something more. Okay, so initial physical attraction is great. I don't mind that. But, I also need some reinforcement on the other side. I need to know that what I am doing--what I am--is good for someone more than just me. Not because I need outside motivation. But, because it's good to know that I'm someone around whom someone else wants to be.
I have a feeling that I just did a terrible job getting my point across. I think I'm going to make some people mad. Or, at least I'll be a bit misunderstood. But (I sound like a broken record), I know what I mean. Sometimes I'm just not good at writing it.
posted by Lisa Lovely # 10:24 PM 
Comments:
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"But I want to also be charismatic and happy and I want people to be attracted to my personality in all respects, as well."
So does this mean that you want to be "charismatic and happy" (can this be read as "more self-confident"?) and furthermore that is what you want people to be attracted to in your personality? Or are those independent things, wherein you want to be charismatic and happy, but even if you are not necessarily that at present you want people to be more attracted to your personality as well?
That is, what if somebody is attracted for some perverse reason to your not being so "charismatic and happy"?
"The problem, I'm realizing, is that once people (guys) get to know me, they don't seem to wnat to date me."
I apologize if I am being too... forward and blunt in my remarks. But here, I mean, how do you know this? And are there so many obvious examples that you can surely make this claim?
Finally, can you not get to know someone who you are not romantically involved with? I mean it's like there's this huge set of expectations waiting for whoever should try and step into the role of boyfriend. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting myself in trouble and winning nothing but scorn by saying all this.
So does this mean that you want to be "charismatic and happy" (can this be read as "more self-confident"?) and furthermore that is what you want people to be attracted to in your personality? Or are those independent things, wherein you want to be charismatic and happy, but even if you are not necessarily that at present you want people to be more attracted to your personality as well?
That is, what if somebody is attracted for some perverse reason to your not being so "charismatic and happy"?
"The problem, I'm realizing, is that once people (guys) get to know me, they don't seem to wnat to date me."
I apologize if I am being too... forward and blunt in my remarks. But here, I mean, how do you know this? And are there so many obvious examples that you can surely make this claim?
Finally, can you not get to know someone who you are not romantically involved with? I mean it's like there's this huge set of expectations waiting for whoever should try and step into the role of boyfriend. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting myself in trouble and winning nothing but scorn by saying all this.
Okay here goes:
I guess I don't know that once people know me they don't want to date me, but that's just sort of becoming what it appears to be. I mean, I have lots of guy friends--some of whom I definitely at one point liked them more than friends, and some of them started out as a flirtatious thing and then just turned into friends.
Okay, about getting to know someone. I specifically mean the getting to know someone that involves romantic involvement. There's a lot going on with that.
You'll probably never see these reponses, but hey, I wanted to say something.
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I guess I don't know that once people know me they don't want to date me, but that's just sort of becoming what it appears to be. I mean, I have lots of guy friends--some of whom I definitely at one point liked them more than friends, and some of them started out as a flirtatious thing and then just turned into friends.
Okay, about getting to know someone. I specifically mean the getting to know someone that involves romantic involvement. There's a lot going on with that.
You'll probably never see these reponses, but hey, I wanted to say something.
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