Priority Use

I agree with Maylea. Well, I agree with smiling. But, not necessarily for the same reason.

It's the weak smiles that I get that make me feel like things are okay. I mean, I know that I'm nothing special. I know I'm not hotter than any of the other unattractive squirrels around campus (not that I agree with that generalization). But, daily connections with strangers make me happier than anything. These connections make me feel like the world is okay. That people care, somehow, about me--insignificant me. A me that they know nothing about. But, a me with whom they're willing to share a platonic smile. I don't even kid myself to think that it's a matter of cuteness.

I was actually thinking that today.

I was on my bike riding through HP and loving every minute of it. Glancing around. Making eye contact. Smiling. It didn't matter with whom. Just a little connection. It made me feel happy and complete. More complete, almost, than with most of the people I actually spend most of my time with.

I love jogging more than most things. And, I think it is for this reason, alone. I mean, it makes me feel amazing and empowered and healthy and strong. But, more than that, it makes me feel connected. When I jog, I share smiles and nods and sometimes a few words with people in the streets. And, other joggers. For that one moment, the two or three of us are connected and there's something really warm and fuzzy about that.

When someone chooses to look the other way--left, right, up, down--when I pass by, I feel dejected. I know that it is their insecurity and not mine, but still. How is a person not important enough to get even a glance?

I know it means more than that. But, think of how you feel when someone takes the time to look at you?

Who knows if this makes any sense. But, it's something I've actually been thinking about a lot.