Priority Use

A secret blog containing the ramblings of a secret someone...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

 

Pleasure

Okay, so I'm sort of stealing this idea from someone else, but it's something that I've been thinking about for a while and my thoughts started making a lot more sense after a brief conversation I had about this yesterday.

I am a fairly pleasurable person. I do a lot of stuff because it's what I am supposed to do, but I also do a lot of stuff because it just plain makes me feel good. Take eating for example. I really like to eat. I like to eat foods that make me feel nutritionally satisfied, for the most part. Salads, bananas, soybeans, yaddah, yaddah. At the same time, I get a great deal of pleasure out of a big ol' hunk of chocolate cake. Nutritional value? Nope. Pleasure? Hell yeah.

I've always liked people who eat. A lot. People who don't eat much, or who are super concerned about what they eat rub me the wrong way. I never really knew what it was. Maybe just because I tend to be on the self-conscious side of my--let's just say--healthy appetite, I am even more self-conscious around people who have a great deal of self-restraint? I'm not sure what it is. It's not as if I don't like people who don't eat much, it's just a sort of pleasure that the two of us can't share together. And, being as that's a pretty big part of my life, it makes it hard to be comfortable in that sort of way. I'm not sure what it is.

So, here's where it gets juicy. To me (and the person with whom I was talking), food is like sex. Sure sex has some practical purpose. But only in the "salad, banana soybean" sense of the word. In the "chocolate cake" side of things, it's purely pleasure. Chocolate cake, like sex (daily, weekly, monthly, however often them kids are doin it these days--for non-reproductive purposes) just feels good.

My friend commented that one reason why she's a bit apprehensive when it comes to guys who eat less than her is this possible connection.

Let me elaborate (this is me, now, not her), because I totally agree:
Sometimes I wonder if I eat more than a guy if it means that I will want too much. If I will want to do things for pleasure more than him and if he will not be able to keep up. Not in a judgmental way, just good old fashioned compatibility. Does that make sense? Like if compatibility in eating is a predictor of compatibility in bedroom practices, at least in the frequency and (echem...intensity) departments.

Perhaps this is getting a bit graphic.

Take Juan for an example. (Now's probably not the time to get all friendly with the names, but what the heck, I'm feeling courageous). He liked to eat. Bad things. Things that made him happy. Chocolate things. I liked to eat most of the same things, but I was much more timid when it came to the quantity. I always ate less than him. Maybe just because I wasn't totally comfortable around him, I don't know. And, in the bedroom department, he was definitely, well, hmmm...let's just say he liked to eat.

But, we weren't compatible. So, maybe what it comes down to is shared eating (etc) reflects a deeper connection. A good start to a relationship? Or, at the very least, it's something.

Okay, I don't really have anything else to say, though I am completely aware that there's no good ending to this post.

Comments:
this def. wins the juiciest blog of the week, no month, award.
i feel like we need a lot of catching up to do.
food is such an important aspect of living!! i totally am turned off by people who don't take pleasure in eating, and i agree that a love of food and a shared pleasure in eating is an important platform from which to develop a relationship. i mean, what percentage of your day, and consequently lifetime, is spent on eating? a HUGE percent of mine is, so it's important to find someone who either shares or at least appreciates how you're living your life.
 
Though there is certainly some importance to gauging compatibility, I can't help but wonder if there is too much weight being ascribed to this eating indicator.

That is, while this eating indicator may have worked in one case, what makes you think it will necessarily be appropriate for everybody else?

In any case, bon appétit.
 
Okay, I confess: I'm the friend.

I think that you can directly tell how good of a lover a man (or a woman!) is going to be by how much he/she enjoys food. This is because I think, for various reasons- big societal reasons, something like "the Protestant work ethic" or whatever- that we aren't actually living in a society that places value on pleasure that is derived from sensual experience. (I'm not talking about Freudian repression, I'm talking about the ability to enjoy the bodily aspects of simply being alive)

Now, there are variations on this theme. Eating a lot does not make one a lover of food. It makes one a lover of eating: so it's not just amount, but it's method. If you are a picky eater, I'd say that you are a picky lover as well. There is a way to ruin sensuality by overspecifying and defining its characteristics, stripping it of the sensory experience aspect and making it into a mental experience. (as in, all top food writers for Gourmet magazine are not automatically granted acceptance into my good-lover category)

Food is a sensual experience. If a person simply doesn't like to eat (just actually enthusiastically enjoys tastes) then I'd bet good money that that person is a pretty terrible and inhibited lover.

I've never tested this theory. It's just one that I have floating around in my head. I also have a theory (this actually has been hotly contested among my friends) that men like pie while women like cake. Prove my theories wrong.

Leah
 
But I love cake! Though is one counter example really a proof? Moreover, I also love pie. What am I to do?
 
But, if you were faced with a plate of pie (of your favorite flavor!) and a piece of cake (also your favorite), which would you choose?

I'd choose cake over pie any day.

Leah
 
Hmmmmmm a most interesting question. I think there are too many other factors that need to be controlled for before I am comfortable giving an answer though.
 
I'd choose cake, too.

For the most part, anyway.
 
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