Priority Use

Okay, I'm hooked. This is dangerous. I'm generally an optimist. But, I'm also a realist, and I really don't see how anything good can actually come out of this in the future. I shouldn't worry. I should just deal with today and worry about tomorrow later. That's what I tell him. But it's really hard and I'm not sure how to deal with it! I think I just need to stop thinking. That thinking stuff tneds to be the problem with me as it is.

I hate that this is what it comes down too, but I'm not about to go advertising this to the entire world judging by my track record. But, I found a 'boy.' I'm trying not to be too excited about it, knowing that things like this often turn into disasters, especially given the circumstances, but it's hard. I really like him. He really likes me, too. At least that's what he says. He called me first, so that means something right? It's actually really cute. It all just worked out to be really cute. He saw me, we met, we met again, one thing led to another and then there's now....

The problem is, that somewhere within the second we met again, one thing led to another and then there's now, he broke up with his girlfriend and I'm not sure what to make out of that. I mean, did I break them up? And, if I did, does that mean that us being 2 hours apart is going to bring them back together? These are things I don't have control over, really, which is what makes this all so scary.

I want to call him today. I think I will. The calling is hard. Language complicates things beyond belief. But it's okay. He's patient, and so am I.

Okay, that's all. It feels good to get that out.

I'm not really homesick. I didn't really expect to get homesick. I didn't feel homesick last year in Europe, either. I mostly just miss people, but people could be anywhere. Sure, there are certain conveniences in the States that I wouldn't mind having right now (good roads, fresh smelling air, diversity in food), but as it is, I'm doing fine. I would give anything, though, to go home for one night. To sleep in my own bed, to see my dogs, to hug my mom and to get a sweatshirt, to two. It's the clothes, actually, that I miss the most. I just have to wait until December.

That's not what I was going to write about, originally. But, I can't remember what it was, and I wanted to write something to get back into the habit...